Originally titled "Facebook Can Blow Me" but that would have been fueling the "antisocial" take on the argument.
Important people in my life (read: people who know my first name, and possibly my age, phone number, and/or email) know that I am not down with the Facebook. I am wary of social networks in general for about a metric ton of reasons, but mostly because I'm kind of a private person. Ok, that's not entirely true. I divulge some information about myself voluntarily on this blog, and any of the aforementioned important people can call, see, or email me whenever they want if they want to know what's up with me or if they need me. Hell, even the casual reader of this blog (of which I think there are maaaaaybe 2) can comment or email me through blogger. The info is here for the asking. I'm not a hipster neo-Luddite that's too cool for school (I take a pretty hard stance that I am NOT cool, actually). I'm not hiding in a cave. I just don't have a Facebook profile.
I'm usually a fan of the articles on Jezebel, but this one about Facebook really got me heated.
If You're Not on Facebook, You're Probably a Sociopath
And the tone of the article wasn't as snarky as Jez articles usually are. I often get a Daily Show, in-on-the-joke kind of vibe from them, but this one was flippant, pretty much like, "Ok, you're not necessarily a sociopath, but seriously, what's wrong with you and how come you're not on Facebook?"
Which is really annoying. Almost as annoying as when I tell someone face-to-face that I don't have a profile, and they say, "Oh man, how am I supposed to find you now?"
Seriously? I'm standing right *here.*
Or "How come you weren't at the party? Oh, right, you're not on Facebook."
Really? Was the party on Facebook? Is that where all the cool parties are now? Did I have to log in with a password and show a picture I took in the bathroom mirror with my phone to get past the bouncers for this totally bitchin' exclusive Facebook-members-only party?
A quote from the original article on mashable.com really made it worse.
"Psychologists see Facebook activity as a reflection of a healthy social life."
You say reflection, I say avoidance. Doesn't a healthy social life imply interaction? Because that's my main problem with Facebook. People can pretend to be connected without actually interacting.
If people are interested in talking to me, I'm down to talk. Wanna know what I'm up to? Reach out. Is it REALLY that much harder to send a 60 second email, or call, or even shoot a text? I'm not down with broadcasting details of my life to make it more convenient for people to find out how I am without having to actually expend the energy to straight up ask me. I'm not down with posting a bajillion photos of myself or my nonexistent babies that will clog everyone's feeds, or documenting my every thought like it's the most profound observation since "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" just so someone can click "like" and feel like he's met his quota for touching base.
If that makes me a sociopath, well then, lock up your small animals.
I know Facebook has perks; it wouldn't have survived without them. I just find it tiresome.
When people are annoyed with someone for not being on Facebook, they're annoyed that they can't simply observe that someone's life whenever they feel like it. They are inconvenienced by the fact that knowing what that someone is up to will require interaction beyond a non-committal glance at a page. They might *actually* have to engage with that someone in a conversation. They might have to actually care and admit to caring. Clearly too onerous a task.
And if a friendship only exists as long as everything is convenient, then it's not exactly a strong commitment, or something you can count on when you're down. So I opt out of all that.
Is it hypocritical that I'm ranting this on a blog, which is ostensibly as narcissistic as a facebook profile? Maybe. Maybe not. I only told people I know in real life that I write here, and I don't say anything here that I wouldn't say in front of them.
It does have the one-way mirror thing going on. But aside from the friends who've told me they hit up this blog from time to time (hi Kris and Mary!), my parents (hi Mom and Dad!), and whoever searches "die hard bad guy" and inadvertently ends up on my teen angst post (sorry about that, random google searchers!), I have no idea who's reading, but hopefully they're here willingly. I'm not here to shove words into people's brains.
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